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Trash Overlords


We live in a world where there is no freedom even if you live in a developed country (see for example Your Country Is Your Prison Cell). We are constantly bombarded with ridiculous laws, rules and regulations that decide for us what and how we must behave. Trash is only one of those niches where bureaucratic gods have achieved absolute power over all of us.

Absolute tyranny

The concept of tyranny is a simple one: you will do what I say because I say it, else…

Trash "authorities" (pun intended) are absolute deciders of what you may or may not do with your trash. Their point of view is that it is your privilege to pay for their services and as such they are entitled to do whatever they like. In a perverse sense, they are correct. Typically they have the monopoly of trash collection and no real competition is either allowed (legally) or entry barriers (through regulations) are placed so artificially high as to make competition not economically viable. And why would they do otherwise if through the power of the state they have carved out this little niche for themselves.

Fraud, coercion and breach of contract

One of the typical elements present in such scams is that there is no contract. When was the last time that you have seen the terms and conditions that you are supposed to be serviced by for your tax payments? Never. Isn't this clearly crazy?

How would you feel if the phone company would tell you that if you want phone service you must deal exclusively with them because they have a monopoly. Furthermore, you must pay them a non-disclosed amount that will be taken directly from your taxes and in exchange you will be receiving some sort of phone service whose terms and conditions will be determined and modified by them at any time without your input, knowledge or consent.

The current package includes one POTS (plain-old-telephone-service) line with one phone, one voice mail, caller ID, phonebook listing and long distance discount.

Over time phonebook listing becomes and extra charge because of all the extra expenses that originated… when you were not looking.

Also, the caller ID became optional because we can.

Long distance? Sure, for a small, small surcharge which is dependent upon the country you call, time of the day, time rounded to the nearest half an hour and the humidity in Tanganyika.

Voice mail? Sure, but we will have to charge you per message plus a "system access surcharge" because…err…electrons are expensive to recycle… yeah… that's it.

Oh, and if you want to use the new-and-improved tone dial instead of the "standard" pulse dial, that would be extra (no matter than tone dial has been available since 1963).

But never you mind. Just remember that we are doing this for you to… improve your service…and to…be more ecologically sound. Oh, and since we are on the subject, please remember that there is a surcharge for leaving a phone off the hook. It's for your own good. And since we are on the subject, unfortunately we will have to start charging you for the electricity your phone uses and you already pay for. As you know, using a phone is a privilege, not a right and as such we must be good stewards of this valuable resource. Also, from now on we need you to keep a log of all your phone calls, location and their duration. Once a month you will have to input this information into our website. Failure to do so will unfortunately result in service disconnection. Oh, yes, since we are on the subject, there is a new regulation that states that for long distance calls, you must only use green phones, which means you will have to purchase a new model and rewire your house. Oh, and did we mentioned that your phone must be pet-proof? However, we need it to be done properly and therefore only licensed phone-pet-proofers are allowed to perform this work. For a suitable (and licenced) professional, please access our website under the heading "Scams". Thank you for using our service, and have a great day!

Does this make sense to you? At all? Of course not!

You are paying with a blank check for a service that other people are forbidden to provide and under undisclosed and ever changing terms and conditions upon you have no saying whatsoever. Just because they can.

What this amounts to is fraud, coercion and breach of contract.

You are coerced into entering into a fraudulent contract which is subsequently (and frequently) breached. How much worse can it get?

In the ever-demonized "private sector" this is absolutely unheard of, unless you count "protection rackets" run by the mob. When was the last time that you purchased or rented a service where the price, terms and conditions were not spelled out? Never! Some contracts may be unclear and convoluted, but those contracts do exist. You know what you are paying and what you are receiving. If you don't pay, you are in breach of contract. If they don't provide a service, they are in breach of contract. This is not a mystery, it is basic "common law" contract law. Even in this ridiculous state of legal affairs contracts are recognized only if they meet certain minimum conditions… well… all contracts except government dealings which for some mysterious reason which we are still to uncover, they are not contracts but enforceable nevertheless.

Crime and punishment

Another characteristic of tyrannies is how "crime" is defined and how "punishment" is doled out. The concept of crime in a tyranny is simple to understand. Crime is whatever goes against the tyranny with complete and total disregard for any other consideration. Punishment, on the other hand, is whatever is decided by the tyranny with complete and total disregard for any other consideration. Noticed the similarities?

In terms of Bureaucratic Trash Domains a "crime" is anything that goes against their decrees as to how to separate, sort, categorize, package, present, and submit trash for their consideration. Yes, you read correctly: for their consideration. Just because you performed all the mandated trashy rituals there is no guarantee that your trash will be collected. The very concept of a "trashy crime" is left entirely to their discretion. Anything that may look out of the ordinary may be cause for instant punishment. Or anything that may look suspicious or strange or even subjectively unusual may trigger the moniker of "crime". There is no appeal.

And then we have the punishment which is a one-size-fits-all: no trash collection. Just imagine what would it be if the current so-called Justice System would have only one penalty: death. How much fun would this be? Not for you, of course, but for all those "law enforcement agents" who would get to decide your fate while being fully impervious to the law. Fun. Fun. Fun. Let's do that again!

Note: please see the Glossary if you are unfamiliar with certain words.

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