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ISIL Death By LaughterWe all know how desperately the US wants to destroy ISIS because… well… because… you know… ISIL is so clearly… well… stuff… you know… and the US (as the leader of the free world) cannot and will not stand for it. No sir!

ISIS is, for any intent and purposes, indestructible. Any apparent death not attributable to natural causes will not be a certain death; that much we know for sure (see ISIL The Invincible). But of course, this "tiny" detail cannot and will never stop the almighty US and their right to do whatever they fill they must do to protect their "vital interests". Again, the "tiny" flaw in this reasoning is that the entire world is a US "vital interest". In this sense the US behaves exactly as the USSR; they would like to have the world populated by puppet regimes but as this is not possible, they are satisfied with the Soviet equivalent of "radish" regimes (red on the outside and white in the inside).

One such endeavour can be seen in the new US initiative to "degrade and ultimately destroy" ISIL. This initiative is so, so mis-thought and so mis-guided that we are sure was written by the best Hollywood comedy writer based on The Three Stooges. The core of the strategy is the following:

The notion that a full-blown, coherent and coordinated military campaign against ISIL fanatics can be fought with a coalition of Arab nations who do not have the military capability to do so, who hate each other (or at least despise), who have different religious, political and military points of view, who are engaged in internal struggles, decimated by previous war(s) and have little to nothing to gain. Oh… and just to be a little more discombobulated, the US won't, repeat won't, send a single soldier. That's right, US generals will fight this war entirely by remote control with pieces that don't even belong to them! And you thought that this virtual war stuff was an urban myth! See?, all those years that US generals spent playing Nintendo in their youth will finally pay off!

Let's take a look at some the pieces in this ridiculous 3D chess/checkers/go all rolled in one (if you are a fan of the MASH series, feel free to consider it a virtual Kranko game):

The US will only do "air" missions (and who exactly will provide the intelligence?)

Not to worry, this will be Jordan's task. Yup! The same Jordan that it is in the middle of a never-implemented "National Agenda", who are switching from a monarchical to a representative political system, where the Arab Spring had and has some traction, where there are terrorist attacks and about 600,000 Syrian refugees from the civil war and its military is fighting against ISIL. And oh, did we mention that their main economic engine is…tourism???

Iraquis will supply bodies, but their army is gone several times over.,. destroyed by... US!!!

The Kurdish will say yes, but they are segregated into different factions who hate each other and want Kurdistan (a portion of Turkey, Iraq, Iran and Syria). How long will take the Kurds to figure out that the weapons provided by US (now officially over the table) are equally effective against other Kurds, Turks, Iraquis, Iranis and Syrians? How will US prevent their weapons to end up in Syrian and Turk Kurds who are fighting against Syria and Turkey?

Turkey will be happy to join by blocking their borders with Syria and Iraq so that ISIL won't get new recruits through this route… and at the same time blocking their territory to US air power to ensure less effectiveness against ISIL! But, at the same time, many US weapons given to the Kurds will end up in the hands of the "wrong" Kurds, those fighting against Turkey for quite some time (such as the PKK).

Then we have "moral support" from Egypt which for once seems to have gotten it right by recognizing that in this game the only way to win is not to play.

The Arab oil states (Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and the United Arab Emirates) have promised to stop funding ISIL (and their supporters)… you know… just to pay their "dues" in the struggle against… you guessed it… ISIL! Some of them even offered to carry on a few "air strikes"… which will be mostly for show to demonstrate their "cooperation". They also promised to stop funding other jihad forces in Syria which is also part of the "coalition".

Syria has been fighting militarily ISIL since three years ago and we guess they would feel very appreciative if their neighbours would stop funding their enemies… for once. They will, of course, offer meat for the grinder…except… that they are quite busy fighting ISIL in their own territory and have none to spare!

But not to worry. Iran could provide the soldiers, but if they would to do so, where do you think that Iranian soldiers would stop on the map? Israel? Hardly. Egypt perhaps. We can't wait to see what most of the Arab (oil) peninsula dominated by Iran looks like!!! But that's OK because Iranian soldiers will operate against ISIL by proxy, and by proxy we mean Syria whom Iran has been supplying of…aid… (sort of) for years. But Iran has also been busy supplying… aid… to Shia "freedom fighters" who prevented ISIL from taking over Baghdad just a few months ago. This was done with the OK from US. Which Shia fighters? Yes, those Shias who are a minority against the ignored Sunnis, but have all the weapons. Those Shias who have battled Sunnis throughout the middle East and beyond every time there is an armed conflict. Those Shias. Now, how long is going to take the Shias to figure out that their new shiny weapons provided by Iran and OK'd by US work as well against Sunnis as they do against ISIL? Or against Sunnis in Saudi Arabia or Kuwait or the United Arab Emirates? Or will the Syrian army finally manage to overthrow Assad, join the Islamic Front, Hezbollah, or even ISIL??

These are just few of the "finer points" of the so-called "US Strategy". Humbly enough, we believe that much more would be accomplish by just dropping USD from helicopters all over the Arab territories and continue to drop USD until there is nobody else in there with any will to fight but to party… but that's just us. This would probably be the only case in human history when a mainstream economics thought experiment may actually have a useful purpose... but it is not to be. Instead, it would seem that the new US policy is to parachute-drop weapons more-or-less at random all over Arab lands and expect nature to take its course. Yes sir! That's a strategy! Not like…you know…sitting in a Pentagon cubicle and strategize and stuff… Nosereeee!!!

And so that you may see that we too can use geopolitical and geostrategic terms (it makes us look oh-so-important), thanks to this ultimate US effort we now forecast that Arab lands will become "Balkanized". There. We said it. Now we can sit back with a glass of our favourite yogurt in our hand, relax and watch how the whole scheme blows itself into pieces.

Short of being the most laughable and idiotic US plan ever devised barring none, it could be the most clever plan ever devised in the world barring none. Basically, it is mutually assured destruction of the entire Arab world. Problem solved. After total annihilation, the US sweeps in and… well… winner takes all. Check mate. Except… no military planner in US is that clever. Less at all Obama, the great… something… something (as his propaganda machine keeps telling us). So no, it's just stupidity elevated to a new zenith, plain and simple.

This is yet another reason why we despise governments, all of them. Because they are the big enablers of massive and ongoing slaughter. Should governments would not exist, differences in religious, social and economic points of view would remain, but they would have been far, far less lethal.

But this is only our opinion. If you believe that faction X or religion Y is "just" and "right" and you feel the need to take-up weapons and go and slaughter your fellow human beings (women and children included), well then…that's not your right but you will do it anyways. Just don't be surprised when the "other side" does the same and they blow-up, kill and/or maim, you, your wife(s) and your children(s).

Note: please see the Glossary if you are unfamiliar with certain words.

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