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Trash Overlords

MODERN OFFLOADING - CONT'D

X marks the trash or color coding the garbage

And then we have "the markings". You see dear reader, it is not enough that specialty containers must be used, but they must also be properly marked. Recyclables of this type can only go in pink or gray boxes. Recyclables of the other type only in blue boxes. Compostable in specially designed green boxes. Regular trash in black bins and garden trash in larger trash bins marked with an orange or red X. And on and on and on.

 

The forbidden trash

As if all of this would not be sufficient, we are constantly bombarded with lists of "forbidden" items that we must never, ever, ever deposit into the trash. Doing so will awaken the wrath of GOB (grotesquely overpaid bureaucrats) because it would lower their profits. A "short" list of typical items include:

Acids (rust remover), Aerosol cans (full or partially full), Air conditioners, Antifreeze, Antiques, Any hazardous materials (e.g., paint cleaners, propane tanks, etc.), Any large appliances, Appliances, Area Rugs, Asbestos, Auto parts, Barbecues, Batteries (household & car), Bed frames and headboards, Belts and Purses, Bleach, Bric a brac, Cameras, CD & DVD Players, Cell phones, Clothing, Commercial and industrial hazardous waste, Commercial waste, Computer batteries, Computer monitors, Computers, Cosmetics & pharmaceuticals, DVD players, Explosives and ammunition (so you know, no disposing of grenades and C4 with blasting caps in them), Fertilizers, Fluorescent lights (compact bulbs & tubes), Fuels (must leave container), Furniture, Garden chemicals, Household cleaners, Infant equipment (e.g., cribs, strollers, car seats, etc.), Lawn mowers, Linings, Medications, Metal desks or metal filing cabinets, Metal vertical or horizontal blinds, Miscellaneous items, lamps, pictures, kitchen equipment, stuffed toys and dishes, Motor oil & filters, Needles, syringes and lancets, Paint (full or partially full), PCBs, Pesticides, Phones, Plastic or wood vertical or horizontal blinds, Pool chemicals, Printers, Propane tanks & other pressurized containers, Radios, Reuse materials (clothing, etc.), Scrap metal, Shoes, Sofa beds, Solvents, Solvents, Stains, Stereos, Stereos, Tires, TVs (including console TVs), Typewriters, Used mattresses & box springs, Vacuums, VCRs, Wall to wall rugs or carpets and so on. Take a look at your very own list and you will be astonished!

GOLD MINES

Legal issues

Then we have the strange array of rules and regulations that govern trash, beginning with ownership. That's right. In many places on earth the act of placing trash into a communal container (such as in buildings) or placing it on the curb automatically makes this garbage property of the authority where your live (that would be the city, town, region, province, etc.). As a matter of fact, this legalism is a fiercely contested one. Many places went so far as to request police assistance in policing this "property", how much more ridiculous can they get? "To serve and to protect… the trash."

You see dear reader; the "angle" they are working is simple: you pay for the collection of trash (they make a profit here) and then you classify and separate "recyclables" for them (which cost them nothing) and then they promptly sell the recyclables (making even more profit). Anybody sticking their fingers into "their" recyclables is "stealing" from them. No matter that you have already paid them twice (in cash through taxes and then with your labour). That's right. It so happens that many recyclables are not "economically viable" unless they are separated for free (this means you).

In addition we have the strange phenomenon of "community improvement initiatives". Translated this means that a group of un-elected bureaucrats and hand-picked "community representatives" (of which you will never be one) got together and spent enormous amounts of time (in facilities paid by you and catered with your money) thinking how to scam you improve the garbage collection process. Mind you, they don't mean improvement from an engineering perspective, they mean from a procedural perspective. Typically such a brain trust comes up with a few tried-and-true recommendations, for example:

  • Raise taxes
  • Charge for "excess" trash removal (i.e. raise taxes)
  • Recycle new trash (i.e. raise taxes in the form of your labour)
  • Add to the "forbidden" list of non-trashable objects (i.e. raise taxes in the form of labour and shipping & handling since now you must personally deliver the trash to "specially designated locations")
  • Decrease frequency (i.e. raise taxes by raising the collection cost per collection day)
  • Sell specialty containers (i.e. raise taxes because you are obligated to buy them)

And so on. When it comes to raising taxes the creativity of bureaucrats never stops. However a question remains: who exactly are these people who are raising taxes? Nobody knows. You see dear reader, they are not really raising taxes, they are "managing" trash collection… whatever.

Our last sample of ridiculous laws and regulations is the "trash police". These bureaucrats come in all ego shapes and sizes. From the lonely garbage collector to the overpaid supervisor. They all have the mighty right to refuse to collect your garbage if you don't follow all their rules, regardless of the fact you already paid them for the service. This mighty power is exercised with professional ruthlessness and no appeal. They are the judges, juries and executioners. Too bad, that bundle wasn't properly tied. Too bad, we found wood in the recyclable box. Too bad, that item is a little too large. Too bad, that bag is a little too heavy. Too bad, thank you for playing the game, better luck next time and will see you the next collection date.

The "Recycling" depot trap

Many "enlightened" authorities have arrived at the conclusion that many "trash" objects have value (as in money) and they are hence to be "recycled" for profit "for ecological principles" because it is the "right thing to do" (to pad their wallets). Therefore they set-up some sort of depots where conscious citizens (i.e. drones) would bring in their goods still in good condition (using their time, money and S&H means) for "recycling". These depots are mostly "sourced" from trash in good shape that people puts on the curb. These depots then proceed to sell these items at a not-so-discounted-prices to "citizens and residents" (i.e. drones).

Now let's rewind a little bit. People are forbidden from taking reusable trash from the curb hence forcing trash authorities to spend your taxes in collecting and carrying those items into depots (which are paid by your taxes) so that these items may be sold to you by employees paid by your taxes. In other words, recyclable items that could easily be collected by people for free for personal reuse are now sold to them at a huge tax expense, all for the benefit of bureaucrats.

Note: please see the Glossary if you are unfamiliar with certain words.

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