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Father Son Cracking Safe

SO, WHAT'S YOUR JOB ANYWAYS? - CONT'D

China - Ministry of Finance

As it is to be expected, in a place where your main capital is people, you will use that capital to create organizations that hire people. Particularly if you are a communist country where everything is controlled by the state. As such, the Chinese economic organization is a maze of competing and ill-defined organizations such as the Ministry of Finance, the National Development and Reform Commission, the State-owned Assets Supervision and Administration Commission plus separate regulators for banking, insurance and commerce, not to mention the People's Bank of China. Also, as the MoF is part of a communist country, its duties will be defined by the State Council, which is to say by decree. Since we don't have a year to go through all these organizations, we will mock analyze only the MoF.

 

 

Task

Translation

Economic and public finance policies

To create policies for economic development (because as every good communist knows the economy does not operate by itself) but more importantly to define revenue sharing between central and peripheral politicians (i.e. federal and provincial).

Administration of public finance and external debt

To make up accounting rules as to maintain the illusion of formality.

Annual budget for Central People's Government

To ensure all politicians receive their "fair" share hence they keep enjoying their high standards of living. Luckily enough, losing their jobs is impossible since elections are "hierarchical", this is to say, irrelevant (as good communists).

Revenue and Tax legislation reforms

Yes, yes, the unholy trinity must be upheld at all costs, even in communist countries.

Central People's Government expenditure administration

If you are to spread out money to politicians, somebody needs to be in charge of logistics. Besides, all those apparatchiks must have jobs.

Government Revenue distribution

Some of the money even goes to "state" enterprises. As such, many bureaucrats are in need to arrange such transfers. After all, it's only people's money.

Economic Development Expenditure

Your money also goes to fund "state" boondoggles projects… projects…whether you want it or not.

Social Security Expenditure

More bureaucrats are required to do the logistic of spreading your money to Social Security systems, monitoring and developing accounting phony and funny accounting rules. After all, politicians may not be elected -in the usual meaning of the word- but revolutions do happen and those are terrible on job security.

Government debts

The second prong of the unholy trinity again. Yes, somebody must be in charge of maintaining the Ponzi scheme alive and well.

Accounting Regulations

Obviously somebody must be in charge of making accounting rules for the government (in order to maintain appearances) but also accounting rules for taxation purposes, which must be, this time, accurate. The job of stealing your money demands precision, after all.

Fiscal and Tax Policies

And here we go again, more unholy trinity but this time enforcement.

Fiscal research and education

Who can blame them? After all they are implementing capitalistic communism. Err… no, communistic capitalism… no that's not either…capicommunism perhaps? no…comucapitalism? Hum… well… will let them develop it because it makes so much sense after all…

Other Duties as Directed

Ah, yes! The Jack of All Trades. And why not? If there is anything that they have plenty of is apparatchiks. And if they don't have them, they can always hire more. After all, fiat money does grow on the proverbial digital tree.

Egypt - Ministry of Finance

Egypt was and continues to be a heavily centralized system. This is so even going back a few thousand years to the time of the pharaohs. Is there then a surprise to see that the MoF owes its existence and duties to a presidential decree? Of course not. Its duties are as follows.

Task

Translation

Proposing fiscal policy to achieve economic and social objectives

Propose where and how much to spend so that politicians remain in their jobs.

Development of financial programs to achieve national goals

Propose how to implement the unholy trinity so that politicians remain in their jobs. To influence the Egyptian Central Bank through influencing the government.

Budget preparation

Propose where and how much to spend in detail so that politicians remain in their jobs.

Overseeing the implementation of the budget

Control how much and where was it spend so that politicians remain in their jobs.

Surveillance of financial and accounting systems

Make sure that the government can cheat while other people cannot to ensure full taxation takes place.

Plan and purchase administrative goods for public organizations

Spend your money in order to keep bureaucrats happy thus ensuring politicians remain in their jobs.

Consult on financial legislation

Teach politicians how to cheat with government finances.

Research fiscal policy results

Advise politicians as to which part of the program is not working hence endangering politicians' jobs.

Propose legislation to link government plans with financial plans

Teach politicians how to get money to implement the programs that will keep them in their jobs.

Review international conventions related to grants and loans

Make sure the international system of grants and loans can be gamed for the benefit of politicians.

Measure financial resources and pool surpluses

Figure out how much cash is there for the use of politicians.

Index public resources

Figure out how many assets are there for the use of politicians.

Control of securities and cash

Manipulate markets for politicians' benefits.

Overseeing the National Investment Bank

Make sure the "appropriate" people get the "appropriate" loans.

Management and liquidation of state property

Sell surplus for the benefit of politicians.

Germany - Ministry of Finance

This ministry has a long history, but its modern incarnation dates from 1949 when it was re-established by law. Something is something. This is what they do.

Task

Translation

Communications and political staff

Citizen brainwashing, public relations and propaganda.

Central services

Bureaucratic support to ensure key apparatchiks are happy.

Fiscal and macroeconomic affairs

Crystal ball glazing to ensure fiscal policies are in tune with politician's will.

Budget

Spending your money to make sure you don't rebel.

Customs

Robbing other peoples' money.

Taxation

Robbing your money

Federal financial relations and legal matters

Ensuring that federal, regional and local politicians receive their piece of budget pie to ensure their staying in their jobs.

Financial markets

To "manage" the second and third pieces of the unholy trinity by increasing debt and pressing the European Central Bank to print more through the German Central Bank.

Privatisation and state holdings management

Managing state "assets" to ensure all "state" employees remain happy and do not rebel against politicians.

Europe

Travel, fine dining and entertaining. What else can you ask for?

India - Ministry of Finance

The roots of this ministry go back to at least 1871 in the form of laws… which is not to say a great deal. The domain of this ministry is determined by different laws which makes it a very bureaucratic, overextended and overbloated institution. As such, we don't have  a few months to review its dealings, but we can concentrate in the most important ones.

Task

Translation

Economic Affairs (Budgeting, Currency, Accounting/Audit)

Basically determining how much of your money will be spent and printed in the interest of politicians retaining their jobs. Additionally, it makes sure that government cheating is formally accepted while everybody else's accounting is suitable for robbery taxation.

Expenditure

Paymasters ensuring that all politicians at all levels receive their due funding that will allow them to stay in power.

Revenue

Robbing you.

Financial services

Protecting Indian Banks to ensure they keep churning out profits through money creation and protecting them against their own greed. Bankers, in term, ensure politicians remain in their jobs.

Disinvestment (limited privatization)

The selling-off of profitable state companies to "industrialists" and "investors" who will then support politicians to ensure they remain in their jobs.

Israel - Ministry of Finance

This ministry was created in 1948 immediately after the establishment of the state of Israel and it is fairly well organized. Its key tasks are as follows.

Task

Translation

Budget

Determining how much of your money will be spent keeping politicians in their jobs. It also determines how much money will be printed since it "supervises" the Bank of Israel.

Insurance

They sell insurance because no private company in their right mind would do so without going instantly broke. It would see that to be able to print money has its definitive advantages.

Taxation

Robbing you day and night.

International Affairs

Work for the ministry and travel the world! No effort required.

Debt Management

The second prong of the unholy trinity. Somebody has to borrow money after all so that politicians can keep spending thus staying at their (cushy) posts.

Economics and Research

General mumbo-jumbo suitable for the justification of jobs for apparatchiks.

Wage and Labour

Determining wages for "state" employees to ensure they don't rebel against politicians.

Spokesperson's Office

Public relations, marketing and propaganda. Keeping you disinformed every day!

 Note: please see the Glossary if you are unfamiliar with certain words.

 

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